To all the attractive academia out there, we salute you
Not only are your lecturers experts in their fields, fountains of knowledge and quite possibly the smartest people you’ve ever met in your life, but they’re also strangely attractive.
This could quite possibly be because of all those reasons, or because they have a beard. Either way, there’s no denying it: something about an intelligent older man gets the blood pumping.
Now, we’re not encouraging anyone to slip their tutors their number while handing in assignments. These guys are professionals, aside from the fact most of them are married with kids. But there’s nothing wrong with the childish excitement that entails heading to a seminar with a lecturer that you actually have a bit of a crush on.
Even if you are going just to admire his choice of tie today, you’re still attending and that can’t hurt your chances of getting a first.
The Silver Fox
Full of charm, wit and wisdom, this is a middle-aged man in his prime, whose knowledge of his subject from years of experience means he oozes confidence. And, of course, everyone can benefit from a little – ahem – experience.
Like a gang of giggling schoolgirls, you and your mates happily sit front row in his lecture because you’re all so excited to delve deeper into the 30 page secondary reading. Obviously.
Appreciate the beauty of a receding hairline that is literally, 50 shades of grey. He’s old enough to be your dad, but you know what? So is Brad Pitt, and we’d pay £9,000 a year just to deliver his post.
The Foreign Research Fellow
They’ve come halfway across the world to share their knowledge, and you’ve legged it across campus at 9am just to see their face. Now that’s commitment.
Australian, Norwegian, South African, French – does it really matter? Any accent not pompously British is a nice break from the norm, and it’s strangely alluring (even if they do pronounce sword as “sverde”).
Plus, they’re probably returning to their homeland after the academic year is up, so you better make the most of asking unnecessary questions to catch their eye.
The Postgraduate Assistant
These are fresh-faced alumni who have returned to further their teaching qualifications. They’re a little socially awkward, what with only being five years older than you, but endearing all the same.
You’re sat in your seminar desperately trying to avoid eye contact because today, the post-grad is wearing a tailored suit, and it’s all a bit too much.
But you can feel less guilty about the age gap here, and asking them to help with your coursework outside of contact hours will surely help you to ace those exams. You’d be stupid not to.
The Young Doctor
He’s got a PhD in looking fiiiiine. This guy is what your creepy academic fantasies are made of. He’s late 30s to early 40s, but looks surprisingly younger and is full of bright and interesting new ideas.
Not only does this guy blow your mind with his original theories making seminars considerably less dull, but he also blows your mind with his subtle facial stubble and ruffled, edgy hairstyle.
The New Dad
He’s young(ish), he’s hot, and he’s just returned from his “research year” with a little bundle of joy. And boy, has that baby got good genes.
At some point in your lecture, he’ll make a joke about late night feeds and his hormonal wife, and you’ll feel a pang of sorrow to know he’s already happily settled and your chances are zero to none.
But all this is perfectly normal – you’ve got to be practically asexual not to fancy a fit fella holding a baby.
The Quirky One
Wide-eyed and weird, this kind of lecturer has his own Twitter account with more followers than you and all your pals put together. He’s got the whole lecture hall smirking with his Game of Thrones references, and everyone’s looking at each other enthusiastically as if to say, “shit the bed, it’s 10 minutes into the lecture and I’m still awake.”
His sense of humour alone is enough to steal your heart, but the fact he genuinely loves teaching is the icing on the perv-tastic cake. Fancying someone for their personality should be encouraged – so you are perfectly justified checking him out at every available opportunity.